I Have Been To the Falling

I have been to the falling asleep
when it was truly like a falling
and I have received it much more rarely
like a blessing.
I have been to the waking up
when it was like dragging a chain from the ocean floor
and I have felt it much less often
spring from me like a singing bird.
You never know what you'll find behind those doors
tigers, princesses, or the old routine.
I never dream about coffee
and never when awake have I scratched behind the ears
of a large black bear
but in some respects the two states are the same.
I dream about and ride in elevators
and make phone calls
with uncooperative buttons that signal to me
a certain helplessness;
sometimes hitting fast forward
seems like a good way to go.
But the seed pearl is there
caught between the curb and the tired slush
if you look down at just the right instant
and I seem to remember
or was it a dream
last night waking
to the sound of rain.

May 9 2013